Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Off-Shore Bank Accounts

El Gobernador is hitting up a different sort of White Sands this week. Yesterday was Boca Raton. Today is an island-hopping fundraising jaunt in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. The primary purpose for the trip is raising cash, raising cash and raising cash (and, if there's time, lobby Ricky Martin to quit pouting and just do the Menudo reunion already).

It's not a bad move on Richardson's part. Give the neglected US Territories (or Commonwealth, in PR's case) some face time. Plead for campaign funds. Say hi to the outgoing Miss Universe (see previous link). Maybe even sip a fruity umbrella drink. See? It's not that bad being a presidential underdog.

Besides, there probably aren't a lot of candidates making official stops in Condado and St. Thomas. If the Guv reaps a windfall, it won't be long before he hits up Guam, American Somoa and the Northern Mariana Islands. He could even take a slow-moving freighter to Palmyra Atoll if money gets tight.

But, alas, it's not all fun and games. Richardson will be leaving the islands quickly with his "I Went To Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands For 24 Hours And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt...And $425,000 in Campaign Contributions" shirt in tow. He will be back in boring old landlocked New Mexico tomorrow and Friday before jetting off for Rundlett Middle School and the New Hampshire Democratic Convention in Concord on Saturday morning.

But wait...there's more!

Not one to miss out on a party, The Guv will traverse back across the country in time for the Iowa Hall of Fame Dinner in Cedar Rapids on Saturday night before hopping another flight back to New Hampshire for the next Democratic Presidential Debate on Sunday (5 pm New Mex time) at St. Anselm College in Manchester.

Joe Biden and Chris Dodd will be making the New Hampshire-to-Iowa-to-New Hampshire trip as well. The Three Amigos will also be joined by Dennis Kucinich and Michelle Obama at the NHDC. Apparently Barack Obama is in such high demand he has to send family in his stead. So don't be suprised if you see his second cousin Ray-Ray give a stump speech to the Greenville County Democrats at a Waffle House in South Carolina.

The Guv will also be joined in Cedar Rapids by Dodd, Biden, Hillary and John Edwards for the Iowa Hall of Fame shindig. Alas, the Hall of Fame in question has something to do with the Iowa Democratic Party and thus is filled with names nobody outside Dubuque has ever heard of. But Cedar Rapids is a good place for politicians to act like they enjoy being in Iowa considering the town has produced such thespians as Ashton Kutcher, Elijah Wood, Ron Livingston (Peter from Office Space) and Michael Emerson (Benjamin, the Creepy McCreeps leader of The Others on Lost). Which, come to think, a combination of Lost and Office Space probably sums up what it's like to live in Iowa.

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